i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm gonna fight the coyote
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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