Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
