just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Soap is not a condiment
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
