She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i dont even know how to be here
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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