Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
