I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
