her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
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