We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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