She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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