420 ftw
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
