Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
