So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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