why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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