Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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