apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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