I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
