I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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