I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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