Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
