windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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