In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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