its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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