remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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