I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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