making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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