This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize