Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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