i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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