I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
