goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
