nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
