ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
