it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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