I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
