Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
