My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
