how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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