You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Two words: blizzard sex
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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