Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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