Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
