I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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