i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
