i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
