I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
