Ambien. No doubt about it.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Even my vagina gasped.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize