I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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