i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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