I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
