Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
