When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
