Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
