I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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