Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
