you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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