Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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