I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
