Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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