he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
