you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
