Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
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I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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