i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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