Only a mothe r could love this liver
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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